A lady reaches for my hand during a prayer meeting. She is a widow, in her mid-seventies, and still working because she can’t afford to quit yet. I eagerly take her outstretched fingers, thinking she wants to pray with me. That would be like her. But not this time. Instead, she deposits a folded check in my hand and turns away, refusing to talk about it. Later when I regain my composure I ask her if she’d rather give the money through the church or ABWE, so it will be tax deductible. She shakes her head adamantly. "This is for you, now, for whatever you need." And the subject is closed. How does one spend such a sacred gift?
Over the past several weeks my support account has sat empty. That has scared me as I watch the clock tick. I need to raise $5000 by the end of July in order to be approved to book an end of August flight to Nepal. I have sometimes wondered if I am mistaken in God’s leading in all of this. The economy is rough this summer. A lot of people who want to give, can’t. My own income is minimal and I must quit my job to do a training seminar and visit distant churches. There have been moments of panic.
If there is one thing I have learned as I travel this phase of my journey, it’s that God is as interested in the girl He sends as He is in the people He sends her to. He didn’t check me off a list the day I decided to follow Him. No, that day was just the beginning, the introduction to the relationship I was created for; fellowship with the Almighty.
The thought thrills me. No joke, I am sitting in outdoor July temperatures as I type and I have goose bumps! Seriously, if God was no longer interested in drawing me to Himself, this would be easy! If I was just a tool, it would be simple for me to fulfill my God-given call. But instead, it’s hard. Really hard. I have to trust Him for every penny. I have to beg Him on my knees, sometimes with fasting, to supply the means for accomplishing the task He has given me. And then I get to stand in awe and rejoice before Him when He sends me exactly what I need with not a moment to spare. Through it all I learn to know Him. This is my ultimate calling.
“That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death . . . I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.” Phil. 3:10, 14
So the weeks fly by. A few generous donations start showing up in my account. I stand at 8% of the amount I need by the end of the month. I can’t promise you I know God will supply in time for me to set an end of August departure date. But it wouldn’t surprise me! I have precedent. You see, when the dear widow at the prayer meeting handed me a check, she didn’t know I was desperate for just that amount to cover a medical bill. When my tech-geek brother-in-law offered to have a computer built for me, he had no idea he was answering the most urgent prayer on my list. When my church took up a love offering, they didn’t know I needed just that figure to cover deputation expenses; domestic travel, postage, and printing costs. But my Heavenly Father knew it all. He knows all about the $5000 I need by the end of the month. And the $9000 I need to keep me in Nepal until May. I trust Him. Whatever He chooses to do, I trust Him, because I know Him.
If you share my burden for the Tibetan refugees of Nepal and would like to be a part of reaching them, you can learn how to contribute to my ABWE account, #0786801, by clicking here.
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